It's A Diary, Not A Journal

Bring back calling it a diary!! Everyone grows up and starts writing in their journal...don't act so mature, it's still a diary.

Those near to me know that I write often in my diary, but they don't know much else... Read on for a sneak peak into what goes down between the sheets--of paper!

My diary is my dearest companion and oldest friend, I have kept a a record of my life since March 14th, 2015; I was 12 years old. So, ten years worth of entries.

My favorite part about having kept a diary forever is that I remain in possession of my thoughts throughout the years. Not many people get to remember exactly what was going on and how they felt about a situation during tweendom. I have that documentation. I'm talking primary sources! Who wants to produce my posthumous biopic?

I was gifted a lovely Starry Night notebook a couple years back that serves as my current diary.

Keeping a diary is easy. A lot of people go hard with daily entries at the beginning of their journal journey, then beat themselves up when they miss a day, then never pick it back up. If you are someone who is trying to start journaling, here's my advice.

Stop calling it journaling and start calling it writing in your diary. Hear me out and it will make the world of a difference.

Journaling can feel formal and rigid. Keeping a diary is exactly like keeping a friend. A diary is casual, reliable, and will take your secrets to the grave. Write in your diary as often as you text one of those friends who you rarely see, but when you do you pick right back up where you left off.

Heck, print out a meme and slap it on the page with some glue. There are no rules!

Journal about virtually anything. Don't be timid, part the army of gaurds you may have up and spill. your. guts.

I've leafed through a couple of old entries, as I do from time to time, and I wanted to share some! But I decided against it because girl, what? Why in the whole wide world would you share scans of your most personal documents?! Then I changed my mind again so here we are:

My first ever diary entry.

I promise you the rest of these pages aren't so wholesome!

These were in the very ery beginning of my diary days.. there's so much more I'd love to share from deeper into my life. Is that weird? It's MY blog!

Ok, now I'm about to go on a rant about how strongly I prefer written communication:

I have a dreadful, awful, terrible memory that just seems to be getting more and more glitchy at my ripe age of 22.

I find it SIGNIFICANTLY easier to express my thoughts through written communication.

I've been told that I try to act dumb...Uhhh thanks? I am a smart girl, please trust me on that. Also trust that the last thing I want to be perceived as is dumb. TRUST. Many people with similar anxieties overthink their words. Me, I underthink. I suppose that's when the "dumb act" comes out. I'm not an actress, speaking is just not my best mode of communication.

Many of the things that come out of my mouth are utter nonsense. My thoughts jumble as my mind races and what I truly want to say never makes its way out. Sometimes it feels like my brain is on a train looking out the window. You can try to make sense of the views that whiz by, but it all blurs together. Ok, stay with me on this metaphor.

If I get to talking about something I'm passionate and knowledgeable about, I'm golden. I know just what to say. Keep in mind the brain train. I'm imagining my brain on its morning commute; everyday passing the same scenery. Though bleared, that scene will eventually formulate bit by bit into a full picture and emboss itself in my brains memory.

Practice makes perfect is probably the simple adage I could've substituted those past two paragraphs with. Actually, WAIT. Familiarity makes comfort. I like that better. Once I'm familiar and have become versed in a topic, I can articulate myself quite well and I feel comfortable doing so.

Speaking to strangers comes much more naturally to me for some reason. I work in retail, so I get paid to chat up randos. It's simple for me to have stupid little small talk converations with clients. Public speaking is my forté, I can BS my way through any presentation or public address. I love an audience. The trouble arises when I'm face to face with someone I'm close to and feel a sort of irrational pressure. I wonder what that's about. I'm working on it.

I'll leave you to ponder whether you prefer spoken or written word.

TTFN,

Sara